Foiled!
by BaconWithRabies
Summary: Walter has made his greatest and deadliest invention, but Peter doesn't believe so.


**A little something I wrote during class. I don't own anything except that dark little corner of my mind that helps me create outlandish scenarios like this. **

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**Harvard Lab**

''Peter!'' Walter Bishop yelled loudly for his son. In fact he yelled for quite a few things. In the past hour he shouted for three doughnuts, a pink highlighter, some opium, tape, and a roll of tin foil. Peter sighed. It was Astrid's day off so Peter was serving as Walter's personal man servant. Fantastic.

''What is it Walter? If you're looking for more opium, I'm fresh out.'' Walter looked at him as if Peter had just proposed that an electric eel should run for president. ''Peter, I need...,'' Walter began, but soon trailed off as something nonexistent caught his eye.

''Walter?''

''Peter! Oh good you're here! I needed to show you something.'' Walter got up out of his seat and walked over to cloth covered object sitting on a very cluttered work table. Peter reluctantly followed, because knowing his father, it was most likely something very lethal or slightly perverted. ''This,'' gesturing to the covered object, ''is my greatest invention. It acts as a cloaking device, and also simultaneously becomes a fashionable piece of clothing! It's just a prototype, but don't let that fool you. It's quite dangerous if it falls into the wrong hands... '' Walter thought for a second, ''or is put in a microwave.''

''Do I dare ask what it is?'' Peter was seconds away from speed dialing Olivia, just in case Walter had created some type of doomsday device during another one of his 'self medicated' expeditions. Walter only grinned as he whipped off the cloak.

There, sitting on the workbench, was a tin foil hat. It was a very regal looking tin foiled hat, complete with tin foil feathers, but still, in the end, a tin foil hat. Peter glanced between Walter and the foil hat and broke out in maniacal laughter.

''Oh dear, my boy has fallen under it's reign already. Billy was right! I SHOULD HAVE NEVER CREATED YOU!'' He pointed an accusing finger at the hat.

''Walter...You...YOU,'' Peter managed to gasp between fits of laughter, ''...I thought... you created...doomsday..''

''I DID CREATE A DOOMSDAY DEVICE!'' Walter bellowed, ''It mustn't be touched! It creates your deepest and darkest desires and turns them into flesh, or in my case delectable, rich, pudding. '' Peter, slowly getting a hold of himself started to reach for the tin foil hat. ''So you're saying that it's not going to protect me from government satellites or help me contact the aliens?'' Walter slammed his hands on the table and put his face inches from Peter. ''Unless that's your deepest desire Peter. But I don't think it is SINCE YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR TIME OGLING OLIVIA'S BREASTS!'' Peter stopped smiling and looked at his father in utter shock at being found out, but he took no notice and continued, ''The point is you can not meddle with this. It's far too dangerous.''

At this very moment, Olivia Duhnam entered the lab carrying the case file under her arm. ''Walter, Peter, we've got a new lead on the case. The fingerprints match a man in his-,'' Olivia was shortly cut off by Peter.

''Olivia, guess what? Walter has created the end of the world in the form of, might I say, a very stylish tin foil hat.''

''Peter! Will you stop doing that?'' Walter asked Peter in a harsh whisper.

''What? Betray your secret to the world? Oh, brilliant Dr. Walter Bishop got high yet again, and created the world's most destructive weapon imaginable: a tin foil hat.''

''No, I mean stop staring at Olivia's breasts. It's rude.''

Peter rolled his eyes, but an unmistakable flush could been seen in his ears a mile away. ''Anyways, I'm going to prove to you, Walter, that this 'device' you've created is totally harmless.'' Before he could stop him Peter snatched up the hat and plopped it on his head. For a few seconds nothing happened, but as Walter started to sigh in relief, a flash of light and a loud bang flung both Walter and Olivia off their feet.

Olivia was the first to regain consciousness. With the room spinning, she stumbled toward the spot where Peter disappeared, calling his name. When she found him she gasped in surprise.

''Walter? I think you should come see this.''

Walter shuffled over, groaning in pain. He saw where Olivia was pointing, ''Oh my.'' He put a hand over his mouth. Peter lay on the floor, the tin foil hat nowhere to be found, but in it's place...

''It's a copy of Mass Effect 3,'' Olivia said in surprise, kneeling down next to Peter. He groaned as he slowly sat up. ''God, Walter you didn't have to knock me out with a 2x4. I was just joking around. Walter?''

Walter stood there frozen with surprise, then suddenly kneeled down and hugged both Olivia and Peter. ''Peter! I'm so glad that you didn't bring the apocalypse back to the lab! At the very least I thought you would have materialized Olivia naked, right here in the lab! I'm so happy you are a true nerd!''

Peter was about to protest about fantasizing about a very naked Olivia, when he saw the copy of Mass Effect 3. He broke from Walter's hug and grabbed the game from Olivia's hands. ''SHIT! This is fucking EPIC! The graphics...and the story... I've been waiting forever to get my hands on this sweet ass fucking game!'' He glanced down at Walter and Olivia, ''If you don't mind I'm going to play this for a bit. Olivia, if you don't mind, could you watch my father while I'm gone?'' Without waiting for a reply he bolted for the door leaving Walter and Olivia alone in the middle of the lab...hugging.

Walter suddenly got up and started scribbling down words onto a notepad. A very confused Olivia got up to see what he was writing. In very messy handwriting it read:

Side effects:

Nausea

Fainting

Drowsiness

Excessive use of profanity and/or develops touretts syndrome

Running a hand through his hair, Walter looked a Olivia and sighed, ''What have I done?'' She just smiled. ''Come on Walter. Let's get some delicious pudding. It's on me.'' Walter grinned maliciously. ''Is it chocolate?''

''I can arrange that.''

''Excellent.'' As Olivia headed toward the door Walter paused to take out the tin foil hat out from his sweater and placed it on the worktable. ''Most excellent...'' He skipped out after Olivia, and most of all after, his deepest, darkest desire.

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**Please review. It gives me motivation to keep writing more of these nonsensical fanfics. **


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